Friday Fill-Ins

Friday, February 29, 2008


Friday Fill-Ins #61
1. I'm looking forward to starting my new job next week.
2. I don't handle rejection very well.
3. Cake is something I could eat every day.
4. Warmth and sunlight are gifts from God.. I am looking forward to the warmth of spring.
5. S.E. here I come!
6. I really want to get a tattoo(s).
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to Zydecote with the girls to hear Marcus Anderson, tomorrow my plans include teaching Jr. Kidz Church and maybe going to an organic doggy bakery with Buddy, Addison and Jessica, and working out at the gym and Sunday, I want to sleep in, bowl really well, and not fall down at the roller rink!

The Church We See

I have to say listening to those messages (The Church We See series0 was life changing for me. God through that message spoke to me about area's of my life that need improvement, things I had put on the shelf that I need to take off. I will also say I am a BIG audio book person. I love a good book on CD. I have gotten a couple of self help and some spiritual material on CD, but I never finished it. But this message, I found myself feeling like i do when i have a good book on CD; when i get about halfway through, I begin dreading reaching the last CD Becuase i dont want it to end. I actually had an attitude today, when the last message was finished, so I started listening to the 8th CD over again. I can't wait until Sat night, so i can get to the bookstore and get something else..oh i just had an epiphany..brb..

BACK..nevermind on that, i went to the church website to see..oh wait.. OK I am back for real now, i originally went to the website to see what "free" messages they had available. they only have the last 3 or so. i already have 2 of the 3 on CD, plus that is not enough anyway. Then i went to the bookstore section and LOW and BEHOLD...I found a BUNCH of messgaes..yeah..

i can download them and get them on my mp3 player (sigh) I am pleased as punch..OK back to original topic "Last Day"...

Last Day

So tomorrow is my last day at the company I have worked for for the past 9 years.. Oh my.. it is bittersweet really. I am happy about where I am going, but blue has been good to me and it has been a huge part of my life. But onward we go.. Today I am really excited about the new job, it seems like it will be really great.



I learned some lessons from my time at blue. I think the big one is about leadership. As I sit and rethink about these past 6 months on the that last position I had at the company, I realized that there are something i would like to change about how I operate. Being more positive for one. I was in a negative situation and I really let it effect me. I became negative at work, I would even say bitter. That is now what I want to take to my next job. But I guess I am not doing as well as I like, now that I look at the graffic i chose for this post..


I have been listening to this series of messages that my pastor taught last year and he asked all of the folks at the church in leadership to buy it if they didn't have it and listen to it. I finished all 8 CD's today. I am going to digress for a moment..no I am going to put this in another post (see "The Church We See" blog entry for that...

So back to this one ...

During one of the messages, CD 6 or 7, Pastor Steve talked about leadership and he mentioned a book. The 21 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader by John C. Maxwell, it sounded so familiar and eventually i realized I had it and I never finished it. So i went hunting around for it when i got home and i found it.



The first characteristic it mentioned was "Character". So as per the instructions in the book, i am currently looking at different aspects of my character and asking the tough questions, where am i comprimising, what am I not doing, and where have i fallen short. i decided not to hash all that out on my blog so i can be totally honest with myself. But I will try to highlight those things that need to be highlighted and let you know how my leadership journey is going in life in general and my new job

I just really want to make sure that as I move forward that i am being effective and making a positive impact no matter where i go, or who I come into contact with.

Oh boy personal training in the morning - 6:30am - gotta go..oh workouts = good.. eating = not so good..weigh loss = little to none... going to take the Eat To Live connect group on Fridays @ lwfc. will keep you posted on that.

Blessed Beyond Measure

Yup..thats what I am. Blessed beyond measure. I can't even begin to tell you how much. Lately I have been feeling sometimes like I am bursting with love..not romantic love (although that would be nice..oh.. i digress ;o) ) but I am thinking it must be me filled with God's love. I just want everyone to feel that way, to understand what that is and experience it for themselves. I have met some really wonderful people since I have moved to Raleigh, people who have poured into my life and people to whom it would be a blessing to pour into theirs.

I cherish all God has done for me. I am embarking on some new territory with this new job. I will have a post all about that sometime this week..more on that later. I am embarking on some new territory with understanding part of my purpose. I am going to try to blog on this later as well. I have been feeling like I am going to start a business ..maybe nextyear. I think its going to be a non-profit.

I really want to explore the direction God is taking me in. For as long as I can remember I have had what I will call a mercy heart. My mom LOVES to tell the stories of how when I was in nursery school & grade school I would always pick out the kid in the corner with no friends or some problem and make it my business to befriend them and figure out what I can do to help them. Over the passed I don't even know how many years I have been having going through some things that caused me to turn inward. So that part of myself sort of went by the wayside. I am not going to say I didn't care about anyone but myself..that is too extreme...but I lost part of myself.

I feel like she is back..ok that sounds weird, but you know what i mean. New and improved..I can genuinely care about someone and none of it revolves around me. It feels great..there is no guilt/shame of a farce, feeling bad because my concern for others, somehow always came back around to having to revolve around me.

So anyway back to my excitement about my purpose. I have always for as long as I can remember had strong feelings about adoption and foster care. Children in the system is are not anything I can identify with, but I guess I felt like I wanted to do something about it. About 6 years ago, I decided I wanted to do respite foster care, but I wasn't in a position to do that. I am still praying about that. I am researching the possibliity. God at some point provided some clarity about those who I am to help.. children who age out of the foster care system. I can't tell you why I feel such a strong desire to do something, I can only say that God has put something in me.

So I have been thinking both big and small as far as goals go. Big = community resource center, counselors, advisors, training, independantblife preparation. Small = become a mentor eventually developing a permancy pact (encourages a life-long, kin-like connections between a young person and a supportive adult) with my mentee.

I will keep you posted as to my progress with this...

ok night!

Count the cost..

This is to all of you who have ever dreamed of mounting a TV on the wall.. Someone I know decided to buy this HUGE TV and put it over their fireplace, not really understanding the cost and trouble of mounting until it was way too late...

Cost of NBA game watching worthy 50" Plasma Flat Panel TV....................$1600

Cost of overpriced, exploiting, but guaranteed Firedog general TV installation............$399

Cost of protection plan (that the Circuit City sales guy made you feel like you can't live without).............$199

Cost of the surge protector outlet installed by a certified electrian (who you didn't realized you needed because if you put the power cords through the wall you could set your house on fire - who had to work an extra 2 hours because of all the support beams in your house) .........$400




Cost of having to put the TV over the fireplace (that the sales rep said you wouldn't have to pay if the installation was easy..which of course it was no- see above)........$160


Cost of the TV wall mount - that tilts (that you are happy you got because the better tilting/turning options were $350 & $600)............................................$199

Cost of the 30ft HDMI and 30 ft Component Cables (which almost made you cry because it totally came out of left field how expensive they were and they were the very last purchase) .......................$300

Having your TV mounted and charging admission for your friends to come over and watch the games (to try to recoup your costs)....PRICELESS!

I feel so sorry for her. (sigh).

Last!!!

So today was the big day..the 5k!! I rolled out of bed at around 6:40am. I am not going to lie, that was a little tough. I got myself together walked the dog, printed directions to the race, got a little cereal and headed out to Julie's. We carpooled to Chapel Hill. The race was Hearts on Franklin 5k. So Julie didn't get a lot of sleep herself and she was pretty tired, but we treked it out to Carolina in spite of ourselves.

Ok so first things first, those people out there were hard core. They had on their spandex running pants and those nylon shorts. Some people just had shorts and a sleevless top. I thought that was a bit much anyway. They were stretching and jogging around. I was thinking "uh oh". So I kept telling myself that I wouldn't be intimidated, this was about doing the race, certainly I wasn't trying to place in the race.

We were under the false impression that there would be other people there walking also..NOT. The only other two people who were walking was lady who was 7 months pregnant and someone who was clearly keeping her company. She blew by us walking too.

I just want to say how much I appreciate Julie, because she clearly is in better shape then me. I was huffing and puffing, for a while I really didn't think I was going to make it, I was a HOT MESS out there. But in the end we did finish...dead LAST. Results Found Here. Now for some reason it appears that they have taken pity on me and not accurately indicated my time. They say that we finished it in 49 minutes, but I want to believe that the clock said we finished in 59 minutes. Oh well..thanks guys! It might be true, because they were supposed to start the awards ceremony at 9:45 and it was wrapping up when we crossed the finish line. Anyway I told Julie she is officially my "Person of the Month", she's great!

So from now on I will be doing one of these once a month. Hopefully by April or May May or June, I will be able to jog the entire thing. Right now walking it fast was brutal!

Coming in last really got me thinking. I was feeling slightly bad about it. But this whole thing really wasn't about when I finished, it was more about sticking it out and finishing it. I decided that I am proud of us, because we did see it through.

Friday Fill-In..and on FRIDAY!!

Friday fill-in finally done on Friday..its a miracle!!

Friday, February 22, 2008

Friday Fill-Ins #60

1. Being in a new city and meeting new people is the best thing about traveling.

2. I love a good warm blanket and cup of hot cocoa when I'm cold.

3. I often use instrumental "nature sounds" music to help me go to sleep.

4. I'm reading "Split Ends" by Kristin Billerback (it's Christian fiction) right now; I am completely sucked into it.

5. Death is something I dislike talking about.

6. When I visited London last year I most looked forward to seeing my brother and his family.

7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to resting when I get back from working out at the gym, tomorrow my plans include walking a 5k with Julie, Jr. Kidz Church, and maybe some Salsa lessons??? that activity is open for debate and Sunday, I want to have a great time with Carla who is going to visit my church - yaaayyy, then we are having brunch..oh I also want to have fun at the batting cages in the afternoon!

Leadership!

So I am doing 2 postings in 1 day, but last night was my second Leadership Update at my church LWFC. It amazes me how everytime I do anything with a group or have an interaction with a member how much more I love my church.


But I digress - last night Pastor Micah talked about Doing the Impossible. So I am going to have to grab my notes to give all of the goods, but what happened yet again at one of these meetings is that I saw how the leadership principles that I am being taught at church also have an incredible practical applicability at work and in life. I am thinking to myself, people are out there paying for this kind of good teaching and information and it is available to me here free. Honestly even if I wasn't going to have any leadership responsibilities at the church I would be at this meeting every other week. It's that good.

For the second time I walked out of that meeting AMPED ready to take on the world, literally. I am so blessed its ridiculous. I could extol the virtues of how God is moving in my church and my church family in every blog, honestly, because he uses them to bless me daily.

I am encouraged really I am. I went to the meeting yesterday and I ran into someone from my core group who said it seemed like they hadn't seen me in forever, and I only missed one week. Ahh it makes me feel good. Then one of my leaders had a tragedy in her life this week and I felt so blessed to be able to provide even a little bit of comfort. I know she felt blessed, but I felt blessed to be able to do that..its weird. OK.. I am going on enough, I really have to go now..

I am a walking fool

Well there is so much to discuss, updates on my job situation, some great teachings at my church, my house renovations, my exercise regimine, my lack of a diet plan. But today I am excited about this 5k I am doing on Saturday.

I have been doing a lot of walking these last couple of weeks. A few Saturdays ago, Ros, Buddy & I walked around Johnson Lake - I think it was 2 or so miles. Last week my mom, Buddy and i walked almost 5 miles. This Saturday I am walking with Julie & Ros in a 5k to raise money for the NC children heart foundation and the NC children's cancer hospital.

I am really trying to lead a more active lifestyle. I also have a list of things that I want to do in 2008.

1). Go on a cruise (already scheduled)
2) Take horseback riding lessions (no timeframe around this)
3) Go to a gun range and learn to shoot a gun (don't ask - and no there are no plans to get one)
4) See my brother & sister in law who live in England -( I am hoping they come to the US. :D )
5) Spend more time reading the Word (in progress)
6) Carve out some significant alone time to be in God's presence (#5&#6 are my first priorities.)
7) Rent a beach house for a weekend to hang with my friends.
8) Enter 1 race for a cause a month.

Wait.. didn't I have a list of things I was supposed to be working on this year? I think I blogged about this in January. I will combine these lists in an upcoming post.

OK back to work..

Friday Fill-in's ...will I ever do them on Friday?

Friday, February 15, 2008

#59

1. Snowdrops are nice from afar.
2. I'm going to see my dad and sister later on today
3. I'm not perfect by J.Moss is a song whose lyrics have meaning to me.
4. Just one sip and then you can't stop.

5. At church and with my family is where I'm happiest.
6. I believe that a relationship with God is a necessary part of life.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to seeing Aymes and my dad, tomorrow my plans include House hunting in charlotte with the fam & seeing my cousins who live there and Sunday, I want to get home so i can ReST from all the driving!

January '08 in review

So there is NO way that I would be able to do a year in review next January on 2008, so I figured that I would do it a month at time.


January '08..

New things I did:

• Brought in the new year with my cousin Taf - 1st new years in my new house. It was a quiet time at home
• Became a Jr. Kidz church teacher at my church - LWFC
  

New places I went:

• I went to the Skate Ranch and went Roller skating what fun!
  

Other otable things I did:

• Got a personal trainer at my new gym
• Lost two pounds during the holidays
  

New people I met:

• New friends including: Michelle & Kristina
• New church family members (20 or so Core Group members who I absolutely love)
  

Beware of the paint chip..

I am having my 1st floor painted and I am having some issues with the paint colors I have chosen. I have been on the phone with friends and I even got some to come to my house tonight to look at the what I have going on.

This is not my best shot of the kitchen.. you can't really see the color all that well..

The good folks at restoration hardware say it is supposed to look like this..

I don't even know what to say about it. I will update this with some other pictures. The color is growing on me, but don't trust the paint chip!!!

I am going to update this post later, I need to walk Buddy and I am tired.

I'm Freeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!

I am sooooo excited - more on this later..gotta go to church...

**update at midnight..so why was I a week early for my church meeting..oy!

rss testing 123...

I am testing my rss feed from my blog on blogger to my myspace page..YEAH it works!!!

Friday Fill In's (only 1 day late this time)...

Friday, February 8, 2008

#58

1. I'm looking forward to having peace all day long.
2. Isreal is a place I always wanted to visit and haven't made it there yet.
3. I've fallen in love with my church - Living Word Family Church.
4. Six of one, (huh??).
5. Addiction hurts a lot of people.
6. The show 30Rock cracks me up!
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to hanging out and having dinner with Carla, tomorrow my plans include church and karaoke and Sunday, I want to be fully rested because I have to drive to South Carolina for a family funeral.

Content whatever my circumstances?

My last blog entry has been bothering since I hit the "Publish Post" button. I was tempted several times to delete it because I am not happy with that I said. Now it was all how I was feeling at the time, but that doesn't make it right.

I am not sure if it was last night or if it was only today that this scripture words by my boy Paul that kept repeating itself over in my head, not necessarily in the version below (The Message), but after looking up a couple, this was the one I liked the best.

11 Actually, I don't have a sense of needing anything personally. I've learned by now to be quite content whatever my circumstances. 12 I'm just as happy with little as with much, with much as with little. I've found the recipe for being happy whether full or hungry, hands full or hands empty. 13 Whatever I have, wherever I am, I can make it through anything in the One who makes me who I am. (Philippians 4:11-13)

I am trying to answer this question, if I am extremely unhappy with one part of my life but in spite of that I feel great overall..does that mean I am content?

I have been having some issues with the job..more on that this week, I have been pretty miserable for long periods of time during the workday, but after work and on the weekends I feel great. I don't really spend as much time dwelling on the state of my love life in a negative way. But I can be negative about it.. I know that my life is blessed, I am blessed to have my family (biological and church), my friends, my home, and my job.

So back to the job..I also don't have a good attitude about it. I think that is what is I am convicted of. I complain and moan and I am down right ungrateful. Then the workday is over and I feel great. What does this mean? I know I need an attitude adjustment and so i am going look again to Paul for some guidance..

Valentine's day (sigh)...

OK..so I have admitted to myself I am a "hater". I am really not trying to get caught up in this whole Valentine's day nonsence, but I would be lying if I said it doesn't bother me to be single..oh and dateless..let's not forget that.

Actually I have mixed feelings about my current state of "bother-dom". For a really long time it didn't bother me that I wasn't dating and I didn't feel envious of couples. I would be like that would be really nice for me to have that, but I am not ready.

So it was nice not to be bothered by all of that, it was always one day..when I am ready. The problem was that was all wrapped up in low self esteem. I didn' t think I deserved any better...thats a problem..but not for me anymore. I have mentioned before in previous blogs that I really feel great about myself these days, I have accepted myself for who I am - inside and outside. It is fantastic! So it's not even about being ready or not for a relationship, its about being healthy emotionally and seeing myself the way that God sees me.

Now.. I didn't expect because of my change in attitude that I would be bombarded with date offers, but now that the "I am not ready/worth it" phase is over.. it's like some blinders came off and I look at things in a different way. I am ready to at least date. OK thats not happening now...and I am actively working on having a social life. I make sure my weekend is packed with fun things to do with my girlfriends.

So I have been thinking about blogging about this topic that I am getting ready to bring up for a while now, but it just seemed kind of wrong, but I am just going to put it out there... It just seems like I am SURROUNDED by couples - especially at church. Which is a change for me, going in the past to churches that were primarily female - a lot of whom were single. Now don't get me wrong, I think it is FANTASTIC to be at a church that is family oriented...this is how God wants it to be - moms, dads and kids, and I was never really focused on getting married, but I am seeing couples who are worshiping together and I feel like I want that..

Sometimes it bothers me that I don't have that. One Sunday I asked God if I was the only single person in the church in their 30's. But I have moved past that now. I am learning so much about relationships that are centered around God and it is really a wonderful to see a husband and wife on fire for the Lord..but really the enemy is working OVERTIME on my nerves about me not having that.

OF course I know everything that glitters isn't gold and relationships aren't always rosy and they are work. I still subscribe to the notion that I can do bad all by myself, but I don't beleive all men are cheating liars bad. There are some good ones out there. I am willing to wait..but there are a lot of things out there including Valentine's day. Let me also say that if for some reason that I don't ever get married, that I would not turn into a old maid hermit..naw..i wouldn't be estatic about it, but I would just have to believe that God had his reasons and move on. I am praying this is not the case.

So I am harboring a little resentment. I need to work on getting rid of it. Now I am not walking around mad, just every now and again I find myself saying.. When is it going to be my turn?

It really..

is time for a change..really.
.
.
.
OK that's all i wanted to say.

goodnight.

ss

Friday Fill-In.. (better late than never)

1. Once I was lost and now I am found.
2. I really tired of being sick.
3. Today at work I thought about getting another job.
4. What's tofurkey all about?
5. If I make a mistake I (most times) I try to correct it and no longer beat myself about it (yay!).
6. When I woke up this morning, I thought about what I was going to do this weekend.
7. And as for the weekend, tonight I'm looking forward to going to downtown Raleigh with the girls, tomorrow my plans include Zumba and 27 dresses and Sunday, I want to go to the superbowl party at my church...GO GIANTs (I am so phony)!!!

Ok so while most of these are thoughts from Friday... #4 is from today..

I will be back on the blog circuit shortly..good message at church today to talk about - later!