8:36pm

It is 8:36pm and I am sitting at my desk at work, waiting for this huge file to save. It is taking a long time, so I am going to take a short break from coding to chit chat. For some reason the last two days I have been super anxious. I have had problems before with panic attacks, but at least those are short.

Something is nawing at me and I can't figure out what it is. Its like everytime I get a moment to think about something beyond my current task, chit chatting with someone, getting these scripts ready for my deadline, whatever. If I take a moment to breathe there it is.. How can I explain it, I feel slightly short of breath and it fluxuates from my stomach and my chest feeling not exactly tight but just unsettled this is all wrapped up in a low hanging edgyness, like I am just waiting for the bottom to drop out. Anyway long story short its no fun and frankly I am tired of it. Its not fully escalated where I can't function its enough to irritate me.

So I was thinking of some things to get rid of this feeling - here is what I have come up with:

1) Pray - I prayed about it yesterday and I denounced the enemy. I felt better about doing it, and I got some temporary relief - then frankly I got busy and finally went to sleep. I was asking God to take it from me, I don't know if it defeatest to move to asking him to just help me through it. That is where I am now.

2) Start back drinking coffee - I stopped drinking coffee, but I am still drinking sodas which have caffiene. I was thinking that maybe I could attribute this to caffiene withdrawl, but I am not buying that so much.

3) Wait it out a couple of days and then go see someone about it. This is a viable option. I have actually been meaning to set up an appointment with Pastor Connie so this maybe that is what is nawing at me.

4) Figure out what I am supposed to be doing that I am not. I used to say that the Holy Spirit sometimes speaks to me using my stomach. Like for example, when I was offered to interview for my current job. I turned them down because I felt like I wanted to make more money. I had NO peace. My whole abdominal area was in a terrible uproar, I prayed about it and realized that I had gotten ahead of God, so i called back and went for the interview..and